“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy, For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now; Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:3-6

As we move on in Paul’s letter to the Philippians we are once again taking up the topic of suffering. I mentioned in our survey of the book that Paul was undergoing suffering in prison and he was writing to encourage them in their suffering.

“And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake.” (1:28-29)

Isn’t this something? Paul while suffering himself is not wallowing in self-pity. He isn’t doubting the love and goodness of God. Instead he is trying to encourage others who are suffering themselves.

The best way to get through hard times is to get our eyes off ourselves. Pouring ourselves into helping others will soon lighten our load as well as theirs. Self-pity is a terrible master.

“Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection, a sinkhole from which no rescuing hand can drag you because you have chosen to sink… Refuse self-pity. Refuse it absolutely. It is a deadly thing with power to destroy you. Turn your thoughts to Christ who has already carried your griefs and sorrows.” Elizabeth Elliot

We don’t need to look far in the Scriptures to see the danger in self-pity. We see it in Elijah who brought himself to the point of wanting God to take his life. What was God’s answer to him? The story is given to us in 1 Kings 19 but Paul sums it up nicely.

“Lord, they have killed thy prophets, and digged down thine altars; and I am left alone, and they seek my life.But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal.” (Romans 11:3-4)

In other words God knows what He is doing. We see it in the ministry of Jonah.

“But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry.And he prayed unto the Lord, and said, I pray thee, O Lord, was not this my saying, when I was yet in my country? Therefore I fled before unto Tarshish: for I knew that thou art a gracious God, and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repentest thee of the evil.Therefore now, O Lord, take, I beseech thee, my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.” (Jonah 4:1-3)

Here is Jonah being swallowed in self-pity because of God’s mercy on his enemies. So God is merciful to Jonah by sending a plant to give him shade. God destroys the plant and then Jonah dips back into self-pity.

“And it came to pass, when the sun did arise, that God prepared a vehement east wind; and the sun beat upon the head of Jonah, that he fainted, and wished in himself to die, and said, It is better for me to die than to live.” (Jonah 4:8)

What is God’s answer to him?

“And God said to Jonah, Doest thou well to be angry for the gourd? And he said, I do well to be angry, even unto death.Then said the Lord, Thou hast had pity on the gourd, for the which thou hast not laboured, neither madest it grow; which came up in a night, and perished in a night:And should not I spare Nineveh, that great city, wherein are more than sixscore thousand persons that cannot discern between their right hand and their left hand; and also much cattle?” (Jonah 4:9-11)

In other words God tells Jonah, I know what I’m doing.

We see it again in Job’s life. He started off very strong but then turned to self-pity.

“My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint upon myself; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.I will say unto God, Do not condemn me; shew me wherefore thou contendest with me.Is it good unto thee that thou shouldest oppress, that thou shouldest despise the work of thine hands, and shine upon the counsel of the wicked?Hast thou eyes of flesh? or seest thou as man seeth?Are thy days as the days of man? are thy years as man’s days,That thou enquirest after mine iniquity, and searchest after my sin?Thou knowest that I am not wicked; and there is none that can deliver out of thine hand.Thine hands have made me and fashioned me together round about; yet thou dost destroy me.Remember, I beseech thee, that thou hast made me as the clay; and wilt thou bring me into dust again?Hast thou not poured me out as milk, and curdled me like cheese?Thou hast clothed me with skin and flesh, and hast fenced me with bones and sinews.Thou hast granted me life and favour, and thy visitation hath preserved my spirit.And these things hast thou hid in thine heart: I know that this is with thee.If I sin, then thou markest me, and thou wilt not acquit me from mine iniquity.If I be wicked, woe unto me; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head. I am full of confusion; therefore see thou mine affliction;For it increaseth. Thou huntest me as a fierce lion: and again thou shewest thyself marvellous upon me.Thou renewest thy witnesses against me, and increasest thine indignation upon me; changes and war are against me.Wherefore then hast thou brought me forth out of the womb? Oh that I had given up the ghost, and no eye had seen me!I should have been as though I had not been; I should have been carried from the womb to the grave.Are not my days few? cease then, and let me alone, that I may take comfort a little.” (Job 10:1-20)

What is God’s eventual answer to Job’s self-pity? It starts in chapter 38. We won’t read the entire discourse since it lasts for 5 chapters but we will skim through.

“Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.” (Vs. 1-4)

God goes on to ask Job do you feed the eagles? Do you control the weather? How about the stars in space? Can you call them and they obey you?

In other words God is telling Job I know what I’m doing. Let’s take Joseph as a case study. Sold by his brothers as a slave, falsely accused of attempted rape, forgotten twice by people who promised to get him freed.

Some commentators believe he was in prison for 12 years. Could Joseph have taken to self-pity in his circumstances? Yes. Consider this though. God knew famine was coming and that everyone would die.

Knowing that God had him sold into slavery, end up with Potiphar, get falsely accused and made sure he was forgotten twice so that when He gave Pharaoh those dreams one of the men would remember Joseph and call him out to interpret so that at just the right time he would be made vice regent of Egypt and save everyone from the famine.

In other words God knew what He was doing. Joseph’s suffering was not wasted, God was still good during Joseph’s suffering. Joseph suffered so that the world would experience the mercy of God. Joseph understood this at the end of it all.

“And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.” (Genesis 50:19-20)

Self-pity led to the murder of Naboth in 1 Kings 21. Self-pity will destroy a person who allows it a foothold in their life. Paul could have wallowed in the muck and mire of self-pity. After all he had done in faithfulness to God how did God treat him?

“I speak as concerning reproach, as though we had been weak. Howbeit whereinsoever any is bold, (I speak foolishly,) I am bold also.Are they Hebrews? so am I. Are they Israelites? so am I. Are they the seed of Abraham? so am I.Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.” (2 Corinthians 11:21-28)

Paul continues his talk of personal suffering.

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.” (2 Corinthians 12:7)

We have talked about this recently. Many believe this was the eye condition that caused near blindness in Paul. He had to be led by the hand, and have others write his letters for him. What is God’s answer to him?

“For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:8-9)

Let me paraphrase God’s answer to Paul. I know what I’m doing. How did Paul receive this? Look at verse 10.

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

Paul was content that God knew what He was doing and he was content if God was glorified. Self-pity is one of the self-sins. Like self-will, self-esteem, self-love these are the most difficult sins to combat.

Self-will is what we saw in the garden. The example of Jesus is: “not my will but your will be done” even if that means drinking the cup of the wrath of God.

Self-esteem is what society says we need. Feel good about yourself, think highly of yourself. The Bible calls for abasement not self-exaltation.

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3)

Self-love is the worlds teaching of put yourself first. The Bible says to consider others and lay down our lives for each other.

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” (Philippians 2:4)

“Let no man seek his own, but every man another’s wealth.” (1 Corinthians 10:24)

When we get to self-pity how do we combat this dangerous sin?

We need to be Biblical. There are worldly philosophies but we reject those. What does the Bible say?

1. Look to Christ

The ultimate example of suffering is that experienced by the Lord Jesus Christ. His suffering is wholly different than ours in one particular way. He deserved none of it.

We are sinners, we make mistakes and sometimes our suffering is the result of those mistakes. Christ made no mistakes, He committed no sin and yet suffered because we have sinned.

There’s that famous quote “Why do bad things happen to good people? That only happened once and He volunteered for it.” The way to avoid self-pity when suffering is to look to Christ.

He suffered completely undeservedly and how did He react?

“For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.” (1 Peter 2:21-23)

Christ suffered well by trusting Himself to the will of the Father. He trusted that His will was good and that His suffering would be rewarded. This is the same mind that we need to have.

“Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” (1 Peter 4:12-13)

We get the privilege of sharing in the sufferings of Christ.

“Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” (Vs. 19)

All that we suffer in this life will make sense and be rewarded in the next.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (2 Corinthians 4:17)

Everything we suffer in this life is working for our good as it conforms us into the image of Christ.

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.” (Romans 8:28-29)

The confidence of verse 28 is rooted in the reality of verse 29. This means we won’t understand in the moment the reason for everything we suffer in the moment but we trust that God is doing a work.

2. Trust the goodness of God

We suffer well when we trust in the dark. We don’t have the answers but we trust that God does and that He is good and will do us good. He was doing good when Joseph was locked up, and when Jonah was angry, and when Elijah was on the run.

God was good when Job was sitting in a dust heap scraping his wounds with his children all dead. God was good when Paul was suffering and when Jesus was being beaten, ridiculed and murdered.

God was good when Corrie Ten Boom was in the concentration camp, and when her dad died in a police station. He was good when William Carey and Hudson Taylor buried wives and children on the mission field.

He was good and is good when every martyr dies. God is weaving together a story that you and I with our finite minds cannot comprehend. He does not exist for my pleasure and my comfort. He does not wield His Almighty power to accomplish my plans and purposes.

We cannot even fathom the end of the story God is weaving and once we see the finished product all of our doubts, fears and anxiety will seem so silly. I read it a lot but the weaving that Corrie Ten Boom shared is so applicable to our topic this morning.

“My life is but a weaving
Between my God and me.
I cannot choose the colors. He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow; And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper And I the underside.

Not ’til the loom is silent And the shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful In the weaver’s skillful hand
As the threads of gold and silver In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares; Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives the very best to those Who leave the choice to Him.”

Let’s finish in our text in Philippians 1. Paul is reminding them of these truths in their suffering. Turn.

“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Verse 6)

God is doing something. I know you’re suffering persecution, but it’s not pointless. He is doing a work that He will complete. Christian listen whether your suffering is persecution, health problems, financial problems, personal loss or whatever, God is doing a work that He will complete.

He also urges them to look to Christ. Turn.

“For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake.” (Vs. 29)

This is all for the sake of Christ. The same can be said for suffering that is not persecution. It is in some way conforming you to the image of Christ.

Conclusion:

Self pity is sin. Repent don’t wallow.

Look to Christ in your suffering. He has suffered as well.

Trust God in your sufferings. He is working a plan that our minds couldn’t grasp in this world.

Look back at our text one more time.

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy.” (Vs. 3-4)

In these two verses Paul mentions thankfulness and joy. How could Paul be thankful and joyful while suffering? He refused self-pity. He gloried in his trials as gifts of God’s grace knowing that grace was sufficient.

He encourages the Philippians to rejoice in verses 25-26. How? By refusing self-pity by looking to Christ. Christian we live and walk in victory. When Christ appeared most defeated on the cross He was in the throes of victory. We share in that. Your greatest defeat in life is victory when given to Christ. Refuse self-pity, walk in victory.